ok i just rebuilt my trans and every thing is good it was not all that hard it was about 1 month ago and i have it idled varey low and when i sit at a stop light for some time like 3 min it will engage hard but it onley in engages at 1000rpms and i have it idled al like 600 to 500 rpms
Did you check the fluid level with the engine idling and the transmission in park? A new cooler won't affect the shifting unless the cooler is leaking and you are low on fluid.
Sounds like low pump pressure. Tell us what was done during the rebuild. Did you replace the pump sealing rings? Also, is the converter stock or aftermarket?