its going up for sale!!!!

You haven't been around here long enough to get to know Barry...

 

and if he sells it...neither will the money...

 

I feel bad also, only because I have gone through what Darren is going through especially with little kids and it's a beach! Not being able to be with my daughter and son came close to giving me a nervous breakdown and that is how and when I started getting theropy.......and that lasted for many years, even after I got custody of both of them which was almost unheard of 14 years ago.
I don't believe the value we put on our cars/trucks/boats, etc. has anything to do relationships, and in a lot of cases only builds stronger relationships with our partner.
In a relationship the old saying, "Be friends before you are lovers" has never been more true and although priorities are important but communication and trust is the key to any long lasting relationship. It only took me three wives to find that out..................IMHO:Handshake

 

took me......never mind...

but I also found out...

 

of course you're right and I may have misinterpreted what he said there. I surely wasn't trying to argue with or discredit his viewpoint in any way.

My main point was that there is much psychology involved with why we do the things that we do and/or hold onto things that seemingly have more value than they actually do at a particular time. Hindsight is always 20/20.

And then there's the basic fact that many of us have buried our heads and hearts into projects at times of greater emotional need, for satisfaction, or even inner strength from seeing what we can accomplish with our bare hands. It builds pride and quite literally gets us high at times. Especially when it comes to building a motor or doing something that gives us immediate gratification every time we listen to it, look at it, or step on the gas pedal. It sometimes turns out to be a distraction from other insufficeincies in our life, is what I'm getting at mostly.

If you guys lower the guards and think back to all the moments that these projects have caused ill feelings and even jealousy with a mate?.. it's not hard to see the reality that it is not the actual project or even the financial strain of the project.. but the underlying issues being thrust into the light by such a catalyst. Some relationships are more fragile than others.. and these "man things" can easily throw them even further out of balance. If it were only a perfect world and we all married our best friends who were mature enough to make sense of it all. Sadly.. many of us will not hit that sweet spot in life and we make constant compromises to one degree or another to stay happy and maintain a relationship. That's just life in general though.

Anyways.. I'm rambling.. so I'll stop. For once anyways.

As you guys get to know me more around here?(and I will be picking many brains and hanging on any coattail that I can successfully grab hold of).. you'll soon realize my intent is to learn, share, and graciously repay those with a similar attitude. Just because I don't agree or need to debate something to get it straight in my mind doesn't mean that I'm the shallow type who only concerns himself with showing others "looky how smart I am". It's just tough sometimes when we have to translate all this stuff without physical expression and much gets lost in the written words interpretation.

You guys can count on one thing with me though.. a down to earth realist that shoots from the hip whenever possible while still trying to be considerate of others viewpoints and feelings. Gets hard to juggle all that sometimes though.. and everyone has an occasional "mood" that strikes. I'll give my excuse right up front though.. it's probably mano-pause.

 

thank you Dr. Phil...

mine is just a...HOBBY CAR...

Effie helps me at times with the car but her love is the...PEOPLE...

P.S. I have calluses from divorces...

 

My point was (and not very well conveyed), the car has nothing to do with a relationship. The relationship either works or it doesn't regardless of the fact that you own a car or sell it. In my case I had custody of my sons and was a single father for six years. The car was something we could enjoy together.

 

I also had custody of my son and daughter for almost 5 years and although I spent a lot of time giving them support while they were participating in sports they also supported me while I was racing. We would go to the races and they would be my support crew..............we had a lot of really good times............that's where my son fell in love with the 67/68 Mustang that I bought for him..............and he worked on it which gave me a lot joy and pride................
Both of my first wives just didn't like racing or cars period.............(which should have told me something.............but I was in love and young and foolish) my current wife is my crew chief when I go drag racing and even helps me work on the car...........................I truly believe the race car brought myself and my kids closer together and also has brought my current wife and I closer together........................IMHO

 

I've had both of my Comets prior to both wives ... more time with them than the women. Part of "who I am ...".

The ex-wife used to whine, "you spend more time with that car than you do with me ...".
That stopped one day when I shot back in the heat of the moment ...
"Yeah, ... and IT doesn't talk back .... very therapeutic!"

The moments following that looked something like this ....



I actually got away with it .... didn't die in my sleep mysteriously ....

 

I have never been in your position but i have known a lot of people who have been. I have bought a lot of their cars because i had a feeling they may change their minds later and most of them (80 percent) came to get them within the first 6 to 8 months.My point being,just be sure it is what you really want or what you need or have to do.Just an opinion from a person who see's a lot of (car sale regret) from the car guy population.It's like some one already said ,if it about the money,money comes and goes.Hope everything gets better for you and your family.

 

Thanks guys. We are having a nice weekend together right now. All of us. Its actually very nice. I may or may not keep the car. My girls really like the car so for now I guess it stays. A good point made on here about keeping things as stable as possible for the kids. It would be a big change that might disturb them. I have a few things to do before its ready to sell anyhow. Its staying here at home for now. No rush to move it yet. I will look for a garage etc to rent. My concern is for my family right now. My wife is very upset, Im doing OK and the kids are OK. We will see what the future holds I guess. Even though its my wife thats not happy I am very concerned for her.

Thanks for all the support and kind words fellas.

 

Good luck, Darren, hope everything works out!