The Tale of the Wiper Linkage

Such an improbable and bothersome chain of events has occured to me and my Maverick over the past week, that I feel compelled to share with the group. It's a long story, and it all starts with a seemingly innocent windshield wiper.

As a search of these forums told me, and as some of you confirmed, it seems Ford began production on the Maverick assembly line with a windshield wiper motor. To that was bolted a linkage, and then a car was built around it. Servicing these components is a rampaging succubus on the rag. ("Bitch" is too weak of a word.) But I guess I had to find that out for myself...

Day 1:

Having once changed the heater core in an S10, I had an unwarranted sense of confidence last Tuesday night as I began to burrow deep into the bowels of my dash. Headstrong fool that I was, I began this project at a time when I knew the parts stores would be closing shortly and I would have to be at work the following day.

I opened up my big cardboard box containing the entire wiper motor and linkage assembly procured from Ebay for a mere $10, examined how it went together, and proceeded to pull the cluster. I removed the speedometer cable without even damaging the little white clip! I removed the bezel from the cluster and set that aside for a fresh coat of black paint. Replaced all the bulbs in the cluster because it was so dim that I thought surely some bulbs must be blown. (No - the 194 bulbs just suck.)

Satisfied with my freshened and cleaned up cluster, the paint on the bezel drying, I continued my doomed quest. There's this steel plate behind the cluster and it's fastened by a few 1/2" bolts. Seems like it might actually be structural, else I would have surely NOT put the damn thing back in when I reassembled everything. Two of the bolts are rendered completely invisible by mortal men, due to a spell from the evil wizard Iacocca the Immolator. You must speak the Words of Power before the bolts will be revealed, and those words are of a vile tongue which I'll not utter here. Defrost ducting, that has to come off or I can't move the plate. Oh, wait, there's one more bolt. Now the steering wheel is in the way. Drop the column. There. Plate's out, now I can see what's wrong.

You might have seen in the previous owner's thread about wheels, that the passenger's wiper was jammed halfway up and the driver's side was just floppy. Soon it was obvious why. The linkage on the driver's side had come off the shaft that turns the wiper and wedged itself above the kick panel in such a way that the whole rig was immobilized. Mercifully, after wrestling with the jammed linkage I found out there was nothing wrong with the motor itself. But that's the only mercy I got.

I decided a swap of the whole left side of the assembly should do the trick. The driver's side mount for the wiper, normally held in by three bolts, only had one bolt and it was obviously the wrong size. Seems a past repair job had caused the linkage arm to come off due to too much of the wrong kind of movement, so I needed some bolts. I pillaged my tool box. Unable to find suitable bolts and seeing that it was now very late, I went to bed in defeat. No way in hell was I going to have my car roadworthy for Wednesday morning, because I am not about to take all that stuff apart a second time, or so I hope.

Day 2:

I went to work the next day bourne by wheels of shame. My wife's car. Four doors, four cylinders and no soul. One of the only sensible cars I've ever bought. On the way home I hit the Auto Zone and got some suitable bolts to properly mount the wiper linkage.

Being that I am the father of a precocious young lad of 13 months, I once again waited until late in the evening to start the fun in the garage. I wasn't worried, though. I didn't have much left to do, right? So I took my time. I noticed on the cluster bezel I painted the night before, there was a run. So I sanded that out and shot another coat of black on it. Then while I'm in the dash I cleaned up some of the more "custom" wiring I found. See, I get distracted when I'm working on a car and I uncover all these little things I can fix or improve. You all know how it is.

With the wipers working fine for the first time in untold moons, it was time to button things up. Uh-oh, what's this? Is that a busted brake light switch? What the hell? Ascertaining that I could not fix the brake light switch, nevermind how it got broken 'cause all I can do is guess, I resolve that I need a new one. Past experience tells me that not just any parts store is going to carry this, and sure enough the Web tells me I'll have to go to the huge 24-hour Auto Zone in the 'hood. Just as well, 'cause all the other ones are closed.

But of course when I tell my wife of this plan, she'd rather I didn't go at night. So...

Day 3:

Once again astride my uninteresting but ever-faithful steed, the '04 Stratus SXT, I hit the 'Zone on the way home from work and I get my part.

I install it. It works. I bolt everything up, clean up my mess and go for a ride.

Something is NOT right. Transmission is shifting hard and late. I had started a thread about this earlier. The problem is not new, but now it's ten times worse than it ever was. My mind can't help but jump to horrible conclusions. No matter though. The very helpful PaulS has told me I should investigate my vacuum modulator, and that's what I'm gonna do tomorrow.

And what's that damned noise under the dash?

Oh. The speedometer's not working. I must have got the cable in a bind when I put the cluster back in, and now I've gone and chewed it up. Okay, so, I'll put a speedometer cable on my shopping list now.

Day 4:

Back to the big Auto Zone in the 'hood, 'cause that is the only one in town that has what I need. I'm not even wasting my time at the other ones because half the time they'll send me here anyway. I am not disappointed. They are of course the only place in town with my cable, and they have my modulator too. I'm glad I taked to PaulS about that and got a "green stripe" modulator. The one they handed me at first was a screw-in type and had a white stripe.

The festivities begin again. Immediately I see why the cable failed before. The correct cable I'm installing is substantially shorter than the one I'm replacing. Lots of room for kinks. Er, but apparently there wasn't anything wrong with it. When I got the cable in a bind, I didn't shred the cable but the gear on the end of it. Alright, well I'll have to get another gear. Finish putting the cable in so the transmission will stop bleeding, and get on with it.

I install the modulator, seeing that the adjustment screw in the old one was all the way out. Like the cable, there was probably nothing wrong with the old part, but I've got a new one in my hand so I'm replacing it. That's when I notice a problem with the kickdown rod on the trans. I'll quote my transmission thread:

Day 5:

So all that's left is that speedometer gear I stripped out. Yesterday I go looking for that, and I am let down by everybody including my beloved 24-hour Auto Zone, cozily nestled in among the pawn shops, seedy bars and check cashing joints. I even went to the biggest Napa you've ever seen. It's like Napa's nerve center. If anyone at Napa has ever told you, "No, but I can get it here in a day from The Warehouse," this is where your part came from. But MY part? No, they don't have my part.

So I ordered a gear from PATC, (transmissioncenter.net) I then took her to a coin-op car wash and vacuumed out all the funk I'd stirred up digging in the dash, then into a bay where I pulled out the floor jack, raised one side and pressure washed her unmentionables, and I'm done with it until that gear arrives.

So, people, this is why they say working on the wiper mechanism is the devil. It will ruin your life. My advice: If your wiper motor or linkage fails, use Rain-X.

 

definatly sounds like an epic adventure of extreame PITAs. anyone got dibs ont the movie rights yet?

half way through the read i was thinking to myself "damn, i would have just rubbed on some rainx"

 

As bad as I feel for you, I can't help but admit I was laughing a few times there. Reminds me of a few things I have done. Glad to hear got it going.

Why does Auto Zone put their big 24 hour stores in the crappy part of town? It's the same way here. Ohh, and the main hub for Napa in the southeast area is not far from my house. It's a gigantic warehouse complete with a fleet of semi's and loading docks, some office space, yet when you walk in the door, it looks like you're in any other little Napa store.

 

Thats entertainment!!!! Its always more entertaining when it happens to someone else. By the way, Your local Ford dealer usually has the speedometer gears.

 

Be thankful that your car isn't a stick ...

You wouldn't have the kickdown and the modulator problem, but you would still be there trying to replace the brake light switch.

I had that switch go bad three times in six years in the white Comet I used to have. I now think I would have been better off removing the clutch pedal to replace the switch.

With the pedal in place you can ...
a) look at the switch
b) touch the switch
c) put a tool on the switch

... but you can not combine any two of the above.

Of course in the auto tranny Comet I have now the switch has been fine in 15 years that I have owned it.

 

...that's everyones story that messes with old cars.
if i adjust something...everything around it breaks...

...ever notice how every ...nut/bolt...you drop
...goes into the ...twilight zone.
i have dropped a nut/bolt in the shop...move the car and it is nowhere...
the next day i find it in the house, on my 'puter desk

good story...

......

 

I don't know, but they do the same thing in my original home town of Jackson, Mississippi. If you are a young white guy on Ellis Avenue late at night, it can only mean you're either buying weed or car parts. Maybe it's the cheap real estate or the higher concentration of ragged cars?

Your Napa sounds just like my Napa. I'll bet they have sun visor bearings for a '26 Geländewagen but no speedometer gear for one of the most common transmissions in the US.

Oh, guys, here's one more for you. After all this, now about one out of every ten right turns results in my horn blowing. What the hell?

 

The horn blowing thing was a Dealer installed option on Mavericks that were sold to small town folks in the 70's because it is difficult to turn the wheel and blow the horn at the same time so they installed the option so when you were tooling around "The Square" and Billie-Bob waves to you, the horn would blow without any further effort on the part of the driver.

 

Ah, well that makes total sense then. I'm pretty sure my car was flirting at a stop sign this morning. At least she smiled and waved back. The old car's still got it...

 

I enjoyed every minute of your ordeal. You have a way with words!
Dan

 

welcome to the mmaverick world. never start anything if you don't have a week to finish it..

 

That was an awesome story, you definitely have a way with words. Reminds me of a few past experiences. 24-hr Autozone? Never seen one I live in a pretty small town

 

Wow! How did I miss this thread the first time around...


You are very loquacious in your rhetorical bombasticity...

 

Where on earth did you get these words from. this ordeal has put a big smile on my face and like DAN said, YOU have a way with words

 

Oh, just a couple words I had stored away for "when I want to amaze my friends"!!!

Glad I got to use 3 in one day, but I sorta fudged on one of them....