I think there's something wrong with new grille sport lights

You're saying with bulkhead connector disconnected, the breaker(s) are not cycling in HL switch?

 

i don't hear anything besides the mechanical notches like you normally would

 

At this point I'd disconnect HL feed(wire) from dimmer switch, possibly is shorted? If that doesn't change anything, disconnect feed to brake light switch. Possibly there is something connected to park light feed? Is there any power on the brown wires you pictured?

 

Yea I was getting Power out of one of them. I'll have to go back and let you know when it does though and then I'll also depin those wires you're telling me.
I take it that the light and switch still shouldn't be acting this way with those wires cut

 

Absolutely not, assuming those are park circuit wires, possibly something is connected to switch that's shorting.

Appears to victim of shadetree romancing?

 

Pulled the brown wires from the bulkhead connector and problem is gone.

And now I'm confused.
I had to remove my cluster again to get to the 3 pin connector. I disconnected that and problem petsists. But not only that but I see 2 brown wires coming together into 1 pin, unlike what the diagram is telling me.