what will I do next

This is what I said and it worked! Even her mother is on my side

 

True story. When I got Married I told my wife"See that Blue car,it will be here when you are gone" She still married me.


I bring home the bacon. I pay her college tuition(I did it all with cash until this last year) I help raise her sisters kid as my own. I stand by her,she stands by me, with a few stumbles here and there

I agree there is more here than meets the eye. Either your wife is selfish or is becoming so for a reason.

If you sell the car expecting the problem to go away, you are sadly mistaken. If it does go away it's just because your wife now feels superior to you and you lost your right to manhood. Men are supposed to be the dominant(not being sexiest look at nature as a whole) that doesn't mean women, just as young children won't push the boundries until you put your foot down. Sometimes you have to decide between two things. I say pick the one that doesn't force the hand.

Good Luck.

Lance

 

Just build a new/bigger garage!!!!!!!!!

 

What are you, P-whipped ??! Who wears the pants in your family anyway?... I say KEEP the car if you like it...

 

my soon to be ex wife hated my maverick

my new girlfriend loves it, and likes me to be here working on it. she said, "i would rather you be here working on the maverick, than out at bars chasing beer and women"

its funny how life has changed for the better for me

 

Roland, since your reply is obviously directed at me, I will say that, based on this and your previous threads on the subject, I stand by my original remarks...all of them. Remember, you asked for advice. If you can handle having a paid off mortgage and being, quite possibly, single, then by all means don't change a thing. Lord knows that these days marriage ain't "til death do us part"; just "til it becomes too inconvenient for one or both of us".

BTW for anyone who may have the wrong impression, I do not advocate that you get rid of your car. My wife supports me in my Mavericking hobby, and in return I willingly make compromises in terms of some of my free time, and everybody wins.

I sincerely wish you the best, and hope this situation works itself out for both of you, and especially for your kids. I have nothing further to add to this topic.

 

Really... I hate to say it, but I have to agree..once the car is gone whats next?? your friends? I've been married for 15 years, my wife knows whats mine is mine and she stays out of it, maybe your wife should find a hobby? or some other girls to hang around with....My wife is just happy I'm home and not out at the strip bar hanging with my buddies. Do what you can do, but you have to stand up for yourself at some point.

 

All I can say is WOW. Don't cave. You need to stand strong on this one.

First rule in any relationship is: good communication.

Some people forget that they need to compromise in a relationship. Unfortunately it seems to always be the man that works his fingers to the bone and provides for the family is the one that gets screwed.

It would probably be a good idea to explain to her that the garage is not a place for her stuff. If she needs a place to store it maybe she can put it in the attic (with your help of course) or rent a storage unit. Explain to her that your tool boxes, air compressor, welder, motorcycle and other garage type items would look good in the kitchen and living room, but you choose to put them in your "man space". The garage.

You said that your house is almost paid off. How convenient that there is this sudden need for you to "get your car out of the garage"!

If your auto hobby (or addiction as it is to most of us) is causing a problem in your marriage then standby. Start getting ready for her to take at least half of everything you own. The house will be hers, and all of your stuff will be sold at discount prices or just given away to someone who will take it. You will probably end up living with a family member and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the rest of your life or until the kids are 18. That my friend is the cold harsh reality of the situation you are facing.

Why don't people get along in their marriages? Til death do us part? That is the way it should be, but people nowadays are too immature and selfish to worry about anything other than themselves. (I have seen this mostly with women who are married). Go ahead and flame me for this if you must but that is the way I have seen it happen to many males. Don't believe me, go see for yourself, go and watch a divorce case and see who gets what.

It is just unfortunate that women use: "Well I stayed at home and took care of the children, cleaned the house, cooked for him, washed his clothes, and "serviced" him when he needed it".

More B.S.

To quote MapleMav

 

Isn't this why we are fixing up Mavericks?,,,,,, chasing beer and women!!!!


JUST KIDDING,,,,Good Luck! Only you and her have the answer and must find it!

 

I think my wife likes me working on the maverick for a couple reasons.

1) it is her great grandmother's car and the entire family supports my fixing it up (supports it in spirit, not monetarily )

2) it keeps me home, and she often likes to come out and watch, sometimes even help on it. She is the "decorator", will make the final decision on carpet and paint colors, etc. She even makes suggestions on what music to play in the garage, and makes sure that the music is not too loud or to obscene for the neighbors and neighborhood kids.

3) she knows that there is no way in HELL that I could pick up any chicks with this ugly car.

4) she knows that I CAN pick up beer and wine with it, but only to bring it home for her's and my own consumption (since it is her granny's old grocery getter, literally )

5) she wants to get her picture in Car Craft doing a burnout :bananaman It was my fault she didn't when she wasted my last set of tires. I forgot to put the camera on HIGH QUALITY and the pics I sent were not the 400X400 that Car Craft needed (they did write back multiple times for more pics, but I just put on new tires and didn't want to tear them up so soon) BUT, I do have a line on some slicks, so new pictures might appear soon...

But, I will have to admit that even though she enjoys the car, we do have our periodic disagreements on how to spend our money (I want new carpet, she wants new shoes...same price, but she has 6 pairs of shoes already, and I haven't had carpet for 4 years, etc. etc. )

But, as I know Roland and his wife will do, we always seem to come to an agreement and work it out. (i.e. she now has new shoes, and I still have no carpet )

 

First of all we always come to some kind of solution for the problem and the reason that I'm willing to give up the car is bcus I found this one I will find another when the time is really right for me. I don't think that her acting in that manner was totally unreasonable and I do understand her thinking that the money that I'm ending could be put to better use investing it back into our home. Maple I didn't like your comments but ultimately your right and the truth hurts. I do spend alot of time working and not enough time with my family and I have seen that. I know that money isn't everything and hardly doubt that my wife of 14 yrs will be leaving anytime soon. She has no desire to have alot of money since we both come from poor families I just like to work and give her the finer things that she wants after all thats the least i can do since she does so much for me. The car might not go intially but it will be put on hold until my home is paid for, and i get a another garage. After all I believe we are meeting half way here after all when I bought my bikes I didn't even ask her what she tought about me buying them and she said nothing and just said they were nice so what the heck maybe the car will get finished after i get the house paid and all my othe things straightened out.

 

Anna said she wanted to log on and put up a smilie with "the pants on"...the best I can find is...

This is in reference to who wears the pants in OUR family...I just wear camo cargo shorts, so it ain't me!

 

I don't think that the car is the true problem. There are probably some other areas that you need to work on, or compromise on. I mean no insult in saying this, it's only my opinion. You should not have to get rid of your project car, however that does not mean that you can spend every available penny on it whenever you want either. There needs to be balance, and it requires effort on the part of both of you. I wish you all the best. I agree that communication is vital. I will also say that as soon as either one of have the "it's all about me" mentality, the relationship is headed for disaster. You should keep the car, but don't make it the most important priority in your life, because that will cause her to resent the car and resent you.

Again, this is my own opinion, and I don't mean any offense...

 

Back in 1970 I had a 1965 Mustang Fastback with a 350 hp 289, toploader, disc brakes and GT handling package. My wife told me it was the car or her. I got rid of the car - after 13 years of marriage I got rid of herhe nearly cost me my home, friends, and everything I owned. I got at least half of everything that she almost lost me and it has taken me 23 years to gat another mustang and get it fixed up close to what i had then. I now understand that if someone gives you an ultamatum they don't love you - they want to control you. If you need that control then let the car go - but it will take a long time to get what you really want back.
Paul
I am now remarried to a woman who loves me enough to work with me to get all that I want. She would never tell me it is her or my hobby - she knows that I need both. and if I can give up one thing I love then she may be next.

 

ditto. which is why my project is going ever so slowly.